jwaneeta | (no subject)

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There will be talk of money here. Not much money, really. But it's gauche to speak of moolah in America (heh, how screwy is that?) so I'm cutting it. Is it true that a sharp increase in income produces stress? I think I read that somewhere, once, but blew a raspberry of disbelief and consigned the idea to myth. Now I'm thinking that maybe it's true.

My income is rising sharply. This is good. And in a slightly dizzy way, I'm jazzed that all the work I've been doing is finally yielding re$ults. But I'm totally freelance now, which means that a big chunk of everything I get isn't mine. If I don't want to end up like many of my gifted but feckless friends, I need to set aside half of everything that comes in the mail. Half. Part of that for the taxman, part for the IRA. Okay, I can do that. I've been doing that. I even have an accountant.

Why am I climbing the wainscotting? Why is my jaw so tight my teeth are turning to powder?

This isn't a lot of money. It's not like I won the lottery. But maybe I've been so used to being poor, the last many non-Sony years, that it's freaky on a basic level of habit. Change is unsettling? I'm used to not wanting things -- in fact, I don't want much. But now I can get some things, in theory (though I shouldn't, because of the taxman. EVERY SPARE DIME MUST GO INTO A TAX FREE ACCOUNT.) I could get a new desk. I need a new desk.

Agh, this is disgusting. I was a nun. Here I am talking about a new desk. A new desk! This piece of shit is perfectly servicable, and I say that without sarcasm. When did I change so much? When did I become a person who got a bit of money and immediately had to grapple with the urge to buy a desk? Bah, to me, from me.

Also a little spazztastic from coloring the Booker T Washington cover. I'm trying really, really hard. Too hard. I tried so hard I got the smudge-tool face of death on the first try, and had to kill it all and start over. This version's a bit better, but my jaw's so grindy from the spaz I think I'll take a break while the breaking's good.

The desk isn't servicable. It's too small. I need to look at reference when I'm doing stuff like the stuff I'm doing now, and there's no place to put it. It's driving me bonkers.

I wish I could share

irfikos' amazing invitation to her Firefly party. It's like a wee brillant gem. I've been keeping it near me, it's just that cool.

irfikos ought to upload the files, kaff, kaff. It's a lovey thing.

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Having a nice desk makes work so much easier and more enjoyable, it's almost weird (but of course it's not).

I struggle (sometimes) with non-essential stuff for everyday living space, but I never skimp on work stuff like a good chair, desk, lamp, computer, etc. And by "never skimp" I mean I get things that are rather more expensive than I probably should be allowing myself to spend (although I am always very careful to set aside more than enough money for taxes).

However:
a) these are also legitimate and (at least partially) deductible business expenses, and
b) they are really investments in my health and well-being. Time saved by having enough space/the proper storage facilities for books and documents I need, a good chair that will keep me from suffering back problems down the line, good lighting for my eyes. A smoothly functioning computer system is the number one priority since all my work lives there.

Since I--like you--often spend 20 hours in my work space, these things are not extravagances, they're necessities.

Well, plus, pretty! ;)

So I say, go for a new desk. You don't have to go crazy with it, but something truly functional and aesthetically pleasing will make your life a whole lot easier, and happier.

So I say, go for a new desk. You don't have to go crazy with it, but something truly functional and aesthetically pleasing will make your life a whole lot easier, and happier.

Sound advice, thank you! Though I must hang back, chewing my nails, until I hear from the accountant. God, tax time. Ther has to be a way to reduce my ignorance and stress level.

After spending several years counting every dime, if not every penny, I got a promotion at work. My kids were in school full time, and my husband started working longer hours, which meant both more income and fewer babysitting costs.

I was sure it would all go away the next day. I had most of my raises transferred immediately to my 401(k) and pretended I didn't get them. When I got more raises, they went into college funds. We sort of looked at bigger houses, but I've never been able to bring myself to take that idea seriously, and I'm convinced it's more than the thought of packing All Those Books. I think it's the fear that I'll get used to it, only to have it disappear. I worry constantly I won't be able to put the kids through college, even though I know we've saved a lot, compared to the other parents I know. Besides, it's Wrong. Most people in the world don't have the things I already own.

And then I worry that I'm being stupid and I'll probably die two hours before retirement or there will be so much inflation that the money I'm saving won't be worth anything.

See how crazy I am? Watch me be crazy and learn from my insanity.

You deserve a new desk. You earned a new desk. Get it, enjoy it.

I was sure it would all go away the next day. I had most of my raises transferred immediately to my 401(k) and pretended I didn't get them. When I got more raises, they went into college funds. We sort of looked at bigger houses, but I've never been able to bring myself to take that idea seriously, and I'm convinced it's more than the thought of packing All Those Books. I think it's the fear that I'll get used to it, only to have it disappear. I worry constantly I won't be able to put the kids through college, even though I know we've saved a lot, compared to the other parents I know. Besides, it's Wrong. Most people in the world don't have the things I already own.

I swoon at your noble fiscality. I'm sure that's not what you intended, but I've installed you as my houshold god.

I may get the desk, because it's deductible. But, wow. You swoon me.

(Now go buy a kewl house. I hear the rush is over. :D)

What Plin said. I've lived on so little money for years that I couldn't enjoy squandering it away for luxuries. But, anything work-related is not an indulgence, and I never feel bad when spending a lot of money on anything that will make the work process go more smoothly.

I mean, I'd rather walk an hour than take a taxi, and I'd never stay in a hotel when there's a hostel available. Those seem like such an utter waste of good money. But my chairs are the best, most ergonomic, that my back could wish for, and I just spent quite a few euros for a near-white-spectre lamp. (The fact that those things are tax-deductable sweetens the deal even more.)

Actually, when it comes to desks, I'm happiest with a very simple, crude construction I built myself. :)

All that said... yeah, the thought that I should spend only a certain part of it is always in the back of my mind, and it's important to never forget that when you're self-employed.

All that said... yeah, the thought that I should spend only a certain part of it is always in the back of my mind, and it's important to never forget that when you're self-employed.

Yep. My god, the things I've seen. I've known so many freelance pals who've gotten into hopeless financial quagmires because of tax amnesia.

Another good thing about working at a studio was the straightforward withholding. Though I knew one guy who declared NINE exemptions (eeek!), effectively putting himself right back in the hot seat.

I'm so pleased that your work is paying off. It makes me unreasonably happy to see people profit from something they love. :-)

I get the anxiety. There's something almost frightening about fun work that pays well - like things are too good, like it might all go away tomorrow, so you shouldn't get too comfortable. And these things are true, but.

Even nuns get the basics of their practice, right? A room, someplace to sleep, meals, somewhere to contemplate? The institution provides that, right? Well, you're the institution now. You need the proper environment in which to do your thing. :-)

I get the anxiety. There's something almost frightening about fun work that pays well - like things are too good, like it might all go away tomorrow, so you shouldn't get too comfortable. And these things are true, but.

Yeah. I'm trying really hard to keep my head, if only because the inevitable gig-over grief is so unpleasant. When I got laid off from Major Studio I went to pieces. I'd rather not repeat that, even if it means erring on the side of caution now.

Even nuns get the basics of their practice, right? A room, someplace to sleep, meals, somewhere to contemplate? The institution provides that, right? Well, you're the institution now.

Hee! When I was a nun I had a very sweet deal, actually. I had my bare little cell, which was relaxing -- can't abide clutter. But for work, I had a special work room to keep all my art crap in. PLUS we had an entirely seperate building for crafts that made money for the community, and for music.

You need the proper environment in which to do your thing. :-)

Yeah -- I think I may do the desk thing, as soon as I get a verdict from my accountant. I'm afraid to buy a stick of gum until I know.

Buying the AtS S5 DVDs doesn't count, of course.

You need a desk you like and want to work at. It doesn't have to be a big fancy expensive thing, but it does have to have enough space for your stuff, be at the right height for you to work without strain, be properly lit (window? good lamp?) and be something you LIKE.

For years my desk was a door on two sawhorses. I painted it white and ran the cords for my computer and lamp through the hole for the doorknob, which I put towards the back. It was perfect and I loved it.

Do get yourself a good desk! One you like. Spend enough to get one you like; doesn't have to be a fortune. Is there an Ikea near you? They're good on inexpensive, nice-looking, well-designed desks. (Looking into them for my daughter right now.)

Chair, too. You need a decent chair with adjustable height, a swivel (so you don't bend at an awkward angle every time you have to turn) and casters (this will make you automatically slide the chair to where it's most comfortable for you, instead of leaving it where it is and leaning and hurting your back.) They say you need back support but I never actually lean back in my chair so I wouldn't know. But if you do, appropriate back support.

Neither of these is a luxury. These are necessary to your work. Feel no guilt! Honest!

I am trying to persuade myself that a burly Swedish masseur is necessary to MY work. :)

Other things you need: attractive surroundings. Curtains in a nice colour. House plants. Furniture that doesn't make you shudder, either to look at or to sit on (for whatever reason. I mean, very nice furniture that cost so much it made you feel guilty would make you shudder. So don't buy it.)

It is not proper to mortify yourself by having less attractive surroundings than you could create for yourself with minimal expense and a little effort. The world is beautiful for a reason - because God likes it that way. I think it makes him happy when we participate and show some signs of appreciating all thta work. :)

I forgot to address the rest of your post, the most important part. re: fear, do what your accountant says so long as your accountant isn't advising you to do dumb things to evade taxes (which they sometimes do). And save some, I guess. (I don't, but I'm a wage slave with a pension plan and a health care system.)

re: guilt, you could always give to charity an amount equivalent to whatever you spent on yourself out of pleasure? Then whatever you spend on yourself would turn out to be an act of charity, since the same amount will go into some charity's cash box on Monday? It would become a guilt-free DUTY to pamper yourself ...

Well, I got excellent news from my accountant last night, so much of the spazzy, superstitious tax terror has eased. I'm on the right track.

I didn't buy a desk today because I have a deadline and no time to shop, but I did manage to swing by a store and pick up Angel S5. Yay!

(Why don't these things have a Play All feature? I wish they had a Play All feature... :)

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desks

re: fear and guilt

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