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jwaneeta at 09:55pm on 28/10/2004
jwaneeta at 09:55pm on 28/10/2004Art/work is going ill. I'm really stinking right now.
When things go well, projects aren't such hard, graceless work. They just sort of happen, once I get warmed up. But for the last week I can't seem to hit the zone. It's all quite effortful and it shows. It embarrasses me to look at this stuff. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.
But of course I've been through it before, and will go through it again. Crap spells happen. At least I'm not as hysterical about it as I was in my 20's, when every fallow period was THE END OF THE WORLD and THE DEATH OF MY ABILITIES FOREVEROMG. (I'm often amazed I survived my 20s. Everything was such a Big Deal.)
But on top of that, I'm back in the I'm-so-socially-maladroit-I-should-live-in-a-cave mindset. I am, rather, but I usually don't feel it's necessary to look for a cave; the world is full of lame people, what's one more? is my day to day philosophy. But every so often, it just seems like I ought to... drop off the radar, stop conversing or corresponding or going to parties, etc.
Oh, and I'm rock bottom about writing. I hate everything I've ever done and why keep plugging it's all been one long slide oh woe.
Bleh. Nothing dreadful's happened. I didn't get drunk at a party and cause a scene, or anything. Just a funk. I wish I could do something halfway decent with the art, though. People are waiting for stuff.
Ah, well. As Nan Dibble would say: sometimes you win, sometimes the bear wins.
And besides, I get to work at home. That's a joy that nothing can dim. *kisses floor in deep gratitude*
When things go well, projects aren't such hard, graceless work. They just sort of happen, once I get warmed up. But for the last week I can't seem to hit the zone. It's all quite effortful and it shows. It embarrasses me to look at this stuff. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.
But of course I've been through it before, and will go through it again. Crap spells happen. At least I'm not as hysterical about it as I was in my 20's, when every fallow period was THE END OF THE WORLD and THE DEATH OF MY ABILITIES FOREVEROMG. (I'm often amazed I survived my 20s. Everything was such a Big Deal.)
But on top of that, I'm back in the I'm-so-socially-maladroit-I-should-live-in-a-cave mindset. I am, rather, but I usually don't feel it's necessary to look for a cave; the world is full of lame people, what's one more? is my day to day philosophy. But every so often, it just seems like I ought to... drop off the radar, stop conversing or corresponding or going to parties, etc.
Oh, and I'm rock bottom about writing. I hate everything I've ever done and why keep plugging it's all been one long slide oh woe.
Bleh. Nothing dreadful's happened. I didn't get drunk at a party and cause a scene, or anything. Just a funk. I wish I could do something halfway decent with the art, though. People are waiting for stuff.
Ah, well. As Nan Dibble would say: sometimes you win, sometimes the bear wins.
And besides, I get to work at home. That's a joy that nothing can dim. *kisses floor in deep gratitude*
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