jwaneeta | (no subject)

http://p096.ezboard.com/fgeniusnewsfrm2.showMessage?topicID=33.topic

which explicates upon women, genius, souls, and why we don't have any of that. God, the hate. Aren't we sufficiently lipposuctioned and subjugated yet?

I wanked thusly:

My response exactly. Then I spent the half the evening remembering the ex-lover -- the liberal/working artist/pro-feminist boyfriend who felt he had to explain the song Empty Chairs At Empty tables to me.

Him: It's about friendship. Women don't have friendships, so you can't really grasp what he's saying about such a loss.

Me: Buh?

Him: Well, I mean women compete for men, so they can't actually be friends with other women.

Me: Are you... what... huh?

Him: Well, women want to connect with a man. That's their focus, what they aim for. They don't have a capacity for friendship. They can't love like men do. Uh, where are you going?

Me: *leaves*

It would be easier to dismiss the offal on that site if I hadn't encountered the same pervasive, subliminal (or not-so-sumbliminal) attitude in so many baseline normal guys. The ex-lover wasn't the only one to explain to me, over the years, that women basically have no souls. I'm not talking about obvious misogynists, I'm talking about seemingly rational dudes.

It seems to be something they soaked up on some basic, unexamined level: "getting" a male is the summit of female beatitude, and any man who fucks a woman is granting her a major boon. Now she has the priviledge of being my sex partner/maid/laundress/cook/therapist/gofer! I have made her complete! Oh, and of course: I have validated her existence by permiting her to service me sexually and domestically. Why isn't that enough for her? How on earth could ~~her own work~~ anything else still be a consideration, much less a priority? She must be a bad, hatey, emasculating mutation.

Gah, it got to be too much aggravation for me -- I swore off men eight years ago. Ah, sweet liberty. Hail to thee, O peace. I snog thee, financial independence. Celibacy is a small price to pay for such a bullshit-free life.

Hrm. I have seen the wank and it is me. We all have our hot buttons, perhaps. Sticky. I'll be an hour getting it off the ceiling.

*nods off* It's an old tale, isn't it?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Such ideas often seems so much of a “common knowledge”, it drives me crazy – where and why the idea that women cannot love “for real” and maintain real friendships, and generally cannot live a life that is not about getting a man became an all-permeating notion? It exists through geographical borders and cultural and political differences, and ii just not going away.

I was lucky enough – or sheltered enough – not to meet personally many people who think like that , but my own grandmother is one too much. I love her and all – being my only grandparent left and generally very lovely lady, but talking to her is a huge challenge every time.

When I got married, first thing she told me that I now had to get rid of all my female friends, because they are going to be out to get my husband. I still feel the ire.

When I got married, first thing she told me that I now had to get rid of all my female friends, because they are going to be out to get my husband.

And there's the second part of it -- there are still so many women out there (to this day) who fall in line with these ideas. The notion that getting a man is the only important thing a woman can ever do isn't just a misogynist opinion; plenty of women act that way too. And then they act astonished and hurt when men treat them like disposable convienience items rather than human beings...

But that's a whole 'nuther rant, and I've got to avoid stress for now in order to get my massive workload under control. :)